I try my hardest and still FAIL

So I try my best to please and do things for troy. I may not be perfect but I really do try to do things for him... but he seems to always be complaining about what I don't do. He made a comment earlier and it really stuck with me and it really hurt my feelings! He said that this is why I wouldn't mind going to the bunny ranch, they would do things that you wouldn't do, and I asked like what, and he said like anal and something else he kinda trailed off cuz he was playing the game. This conversation started because he said he wanted to suck my toes and I said ew no ( i am not a toe sucking person I don't like my feet and I don't like ppl touching or even looking at my feet) it really hurt my feelings that he said that like I try really hard I do things that I sometimes don't even feel comfortable with but I do it cuz I love him and I wanna make him happy and he do things that makes me happy too but for him to say that to point out the things that I don't do but I do sometimes to make him happy just was like a low blow! I feel like he was trying to guilt trip me into things. I may not give you head all the time, or open up my ass every time you want it or and other fantasy or anything else in general like play the game with you I am sorry! I'm sorry that I don't do the things YOU wanna do like have crazy wild porn themed sex or sit and play Madden with you, I'm sorry. But I do other things for you like cook for you, wash your clothes, make sure you are remembering things I always try to have something nice and uplifting to say to you when you feel bad I always defend you when somebody says something negative about you! I try to do things that you like to do but somethings I just don't wanna do, but if it makes you happy I'll get out of my box and do it just to please you... But I don't think it's fair that instead of looking at what i don't do you should appreciate the little things I do just like I am appreciating the little things you do (like buy me the two books today at the book fair and watching Melanie) I appreciate those things!! But it really hurt me that you made it seem like you would get somebody else to do it for you just cuz I don't


But on a good note I went to orientation today and I fully enjoyed myself and I cannot wait until it starts its gonna be a lot of fun and I found out we can bring guest!! (but don't worry we can not draw blood from you lol) It's gonna be a long road but I can't wait to get started so I can finally give my mother and brother something to be proud of besides me popping out babies! I wanna really try and do my best even when I'm tired I am gonna push forward cuz I wanna graduate and have good grades and get certificates and pins showing my good grades and my good work like I can't wait I'm tired of being in the shadows behind all my family and friends who are clearly doing better then me and are more carefree and school orientated with no attachments like children or insecurities to hold them back I can be just as successful as them and I can't wait to see them cheering for me when I graduate

~Mia out~