How to be A Groupie

• Well I would like to know. Somebody tell me lol so I can go be Trey Songz' groupie!! Lmao. I know he has a billion groupies but i feel like I am the best choice anyway so he should come find me. It would be like robbing the cradle twice - once cause im 18 and twice cause I ain't no groupie! lol (until SongzYuuup comes along)

• Anyway on a serious note if anyone knows how to be a groupie hit me up. 
  

• I figure the first step is follow him on twitter lol!
  

I could blog all day about Trey but there are other things that need to be brought to attention. ONE is that I am not drinking for a little while (that statement is fluid). I will drink maybe coolers and that's it, or like watered down light beer, but the vodka and the heavy liquor and the nuvo and all of that is suspended for a little while.  Lol. 

Why you may say when I used to LOVE hardcore drinking? Yes this is me who does keg stands at frats and chugs vodka in the back of the club and orders rounds of tequila shots just to have fun. I still like all that stuff and i still love to party party let's all get wasted like gucci mane but now I feel like i need to acknowledge all that bad stuff everyone was talking about. Like for instance

BLACKOUTS

Yea they are real. I had a blackout last time i got drunk! A whole en-bloc blackout. For those of you who dont know the terminology (which I didnt before I looked it up), an en bloc blackout is one where you just dont remember anything even if someone reminds you what happened. Its so weird. Like ok, what I remember is a couple scenes and then waking up in the middle of the night puking. So I thought I must have fell asleep i.e. passed out, right?

Right? WRONG! Apparently I was still up and awake and partying as usual. Except not only was I  copletely wasted, but I was not even freakin' conscious of my surroundings. Its so scary to know that I could have ended up anywhere and really not even known or anything. Good thing I have good friends! Like AT LEAST when Im drunk i still know what I'm doing. Yeah I'm uninhibited but Im still aware so like when I wake up I know exactly what happened and everything.  Like even if I did stupid stuff like I feel like I still had a hand in the decision making process that led me to do whatever. But a blackout ... like I was completely not in control. Everytime someone was like oh, this happened, I was like really? WHEN! I didnt even have the slightest blurriest smidgen of an idea of what happened. It was really like I had fallen asleep. 

I dont understand why the body would think blacking out is a good defense mechanism. Like I understand throwing up because it gets the alcohol out or passing out because it makes you unable to drink any more or do anything stupid because your sleeping. but blacking out? HELLA unsafe! What if I would have killed someone or jumped off a bridge?? What if I just gave away all my valuables? Like I just cant believe it at all lol 

All my friends I have seen them get really drunk and pass out or throw up or act horny or whatever but I've never had a friend black out before. So I cant believe I would be the unlucky one who has to worry about blackouts!! Grr lol

Anyway I am going to start over from scratch with drinking because a year ago when i started I was really cautious and I carefully noted at what point I would be buzzed, etc. Now I just drink and party! I have to do it carefully that way again so I know exactly where to stop so that I never black out again but still get to enjoy being wasted!! There's no fun in being wasted if you missing the whole thing because your ass is blacked out. After all as Loso would say "Patron, you my ni**a".

And while Im on the topic of evaluating my substance  abuse I should make it clear that I am also done with weed brownies (that statement is also fluid). When I smoke out of a bowl I get a nice high and feel totally chill. When I soke a joint I get a considerably not-as-good high but its still decent at least for the first hour or so before I start feeling completely sedated and out of energy. but when I eat brownies? I get so high that it feels BAD and I just want to be normal again. Like I can feel all my nerves tingling, I can't get to sleep, every noise echoes all over the place, I have uncontrollable cotton mouth, uncontrollable munchies, hallucinating, and I can't do anything besides watch something (i.e. the same movie two or three times in a row). Its not even attentive watching more like blank staring And i had a terrible headache like someone wedged a vibrator in my brain. Jasimine told me I was tripping balls cause I had 3 and you only supposed to eat one. Well either way I am afraid of weed brownies now lol. 

That being said I had fun the last few times I got high with joints and bowls. 

So now you know about me and substance abuse and also know I do not endorse substance abuse especialy if you are under 21 like me. However I do endorse Trey Songz ... where he at? Lol

-Dez Out