i like it, i love it, i want it all the time

PARTIES!!!!
lol.

I dont blog as much as I should. I know that. But half the stuff I want to talk about I can't say in here, so I give up. (sheepish grin).

I can say here that I am extremely happy. There are two things in my life that are particularly new and I love them. Haha. I am like, elated. One, parties. Two, sex. They're like the most amazing thing about the weekend now. Haha. And even better: both perks are fairly consistent. I can get in to the Den most of the time (gotta come early), Pike almost always has a party, and if Pike doesnt then I know another frat will (like Phi Si or Sig Ep or Wawa). And we won't talk about the other thing. I'm not the type to kiss and tell. it's one guy (what, come on now, I have extremely high standards) and probably the only negative side effect is that I think about it a lot. But I'm not too bad with it. I didn't say i think about it all the time, just frequently, and only for fleeting seconds. So whatever. I'm happy.

I can also say here that i HATE CHEMISTRY! Lol. i decided to absolutely NOT be pre-med. EVER. I am SO a political science major. Like, it's definite. And it's funny cause I would never see myself in this position about a year back. Actually, I probably thought this was a major I would NEVER go in. But that was when I didn't know what was good for me. I'm a very dynamic person and my needs are ALWAYS changing. But right now, I definitely know that political science suits my needs. I don't know why I thought it was what is was, but now I know stuff about it and I know that it fulfills my needs better than practically any other major available. So yeah, I'm a political science major, NO I am never taking another chem class, YES introductory chem at jhu is the LAST encounter i will ever have with chemistry. (which is bittersweet. I love learning, but it is nice to say goodbye to a burden). Oh and I am looking forward to being a writing (english) and hopefully french minor. I want to learn French. My friends are going to help me with that (once again, hopefully).

I gotta go do chem homework
PEACE

Impossible to please

I feel much better like I feel like I coped, in a sense. I just can't shake this ashamed feeling. I feel so bad that I have to resort to being a baby when I don't have sex. Troy told me that I'm impossible to please and I've always told myself that I wasn't impossible to please, but I'm starting to believe I am. Like when we have sex it soooooo good, but like when I have good sex, my body wants more of it and I get the tingly horny feeling all over my body and "area" like I feel so bad right now because idk, I just do cuz Troy's great in bed, he has unbelievable stamina, amazing stroke and he touches my spots like never before, and this happens every time we have sex. But I just get such a thrill from the sex that I want it again.

I feel so bad!!! like how embarrassing is it to admit you have a sex addiction? like how common is that? and it like i can't help myself I love sex and I get so upset at the thought of not having it, that I throw tantrums and hissy fits because I want my fix!

like now I'm about to talk this test called sast (sexual addiction screening test) to see if I have a problem......

idk...... I'm gonna go to bed and find a hobby to occupy me and take me away from the thought of sex and direct my attention to a positive manner........

College is Bringing out the Best (Worst) in me.

Okay, so ever since college, everything that I wanted to do in high school but didn't (for someone reason) I'm doing now....WITH INTEREST! For instance, I told you guys that I smoked a cigarette and a blunt and they were both non-tempting. Well Friday, I decided to give weed another try but this time, it was out of a bong. SOOOOOO MUCH BETTEER!!! Being high is WAAAYYYY better than being drunk. Like, when you're drunk you have that tipsy dizzy feeling but the side effects are you can't see shit, you can't remember or comprehend shit, and you feel nauseous. With weed, you feel dizzy but EVERYTHING is heightened and you're aware of everything around you. Let me tell you about the conversations we had

1. A profound discussion about the purpose of rivets in your fingers
2. Whether Santa Claus is Jesus
3. The purplish color of the sky when it's dark
4. Smoking 1500 pounds of weed.
5. Jarboe being Jesus (Jarboe is one of the guys we were smoking with

And like, weed is soooo cool because I was outside and it was cold as a bitch! I only had on a shirt and no jacket. Well, when I was high, I was cold...........but I didn't know it, lol. Like, my body felt warm but I was shaking like a bitch and Marcelo was like "It's because you're cold". And it made my eyes droopy as shiiiiiiiiiiitttttt. Being high feels sooo goood.

And it was funny because everyone was soo high after a while (It was about 8 of us including me and I only knew 3 people) and Jarboe ordered Insomnia cookies (best cookies in the fucking world) and everyone was like "AHHHHHHHHHHH JARBOE WE LOVVEEEEE YOU!" (Because of course, everyone had serious munchies). So we went inside and watched two episodes of South Park (Which I can barely remember) and ate cookies. I kept eating. I was full but didn't know it lol.

And one more thing, weed makes you hella horny lol :)
P.S. BUYING WEED IS SCARY AS SHITTTT!!! haha

Anywhoooo...Besides my litte weed-fest, Marathon was rescheduled but without a theme and for Drama only. It was REALLLLY dull. No one was there. They even shut down the dance floor because hardly no one came. So I just made out with everyone since there was nothing to do lol. Afterwards, I walked home with Nneka. We were both soo drunk it was ridiculous. I ended up crashing in her room. I was supposed to go to a African-American dinner today but I was too damn sleepy to do anything. So wutev.

This weekend was....quite eventful

P.S. I WENT TO GO SEE RIGHTEOUS KILL!! GO SEEE IT! GREATEST MOVIE EVER

P.S.S. CHARLO IS BACK WITH HIS EX GIRLFRIEND! THAT BITCH!!!!!! lol

but I don't care... I'm probably going to dedicate the rest of my life to black guys.

Suzy in the Pleasure Dome

Okay so i know you guys read the title and was like WTF!?!?! But 2 of my friends here got married Lezandra and Kevin (and Lezandra's bday was thhe other day) so we all decided to go to a strip club.

So i went to the mall to meet up with the people that was going to the club here's the rundown

Lezandra: it was her birthday that past and her idea to go. (she reminds me sooooo much of Mia she's like the one that always talks about sex)

Kevin: Lezandra's Husband

Kelly: She's reall cool (i was curious as to how she would act in a strip club)

Shawna: Kelly's friend and a girl who's in my Writing class

then there were a couple of Kevin's friends that went

Wood: he's a fucking total ass and Perv (didnt really like him but it was like oh well)

Luke: he was weird like he was completely introverted and just weird idk

but so anyway we walk to the club Centerfold from the mall

and when we get there the woman at the register is like the cover is $18 come up sign in and take out ur IDs

so im like oh shit cuz i dont have an ID with my age on it so im like im prob not gonna be able to get in

so we ask the lady if i could use my college ID and shes like looking at me like what the fuck

but then she was cool and like he is 18 right and then she let me in

so we go in and the first girl that was stripping completely SUCKED she wasnt doing anything the only hot thing about here was that she had on a nurses uniform

then the girl that came on after here was even worse so im sitting there like okay this place completely sucks

so the next girl that came on the stage was FUCKING AMAZING

she did tricks and everything

like okay we have all seen girls on t.v. and shit climb up the pole and slide down upside down but SHE jumped off the ground and wrapped her legs around the top of the pole slide down upside down and took her top off all at the same time

Okay so the next girl is the one that the blog is named after

She was this hot Korean girl

and i just want to say that she individually raped everyone of the people that i named above (not the other strippers) and heres how

well the way it started was that Me, Kelly, and Shawna decided that we were all gonna give her a dollar with our teeth so we go up and sit down

so she walks up to kelly and kelly does it but then she stands her up and starts rubbing on her and then she (the striper) pulled kelly's top down

then she went to Shawna and she put the dollar in her garter with her teeth and the stripper grabs shawna and starts rubbing on her then she turns her around and grabs the dollar and puts it in the back of Shawna's jeans and fishes it out with her mouth (and we're all like WTF  are u serious)

so then she comes up to me and i go to do it to but she grabs my face and shoves it into her boobs and im like okay watever 

then she goes and dances some more and me and kevin tell her to go over and dance in front of Luke cause he kept leaving and never actually watched any of the girls dance

so she goes over to him and starts feeling on him and then she like wraps her legs around his waist and starts humping him and his face is red as hell so she lets go and he gives her a dollar so she unbuttons his pants and puts the dollar down there and once again fishes it out with her mouth and we're totally fucking shocked now

so then she puts one of her legs on his shoulder and basically rubs her shit all up in his face when she was done with him he looked like he was going to faint

so then she comes back over o me and Shawna and shawna tells her to get me so she just shoved both of her hands down my pants and starts squeezing shit and i nudge my head over toward shawna and give her a dollar cuz i wanna see what shes gonna do this time she put the dollar in her

 top and fished  it out 

so that was basically all the exciting things that happened at the strip club after that we all went and walked on the beach for like half an hour and it was cool cuz it was night time 

 

Going Through Withdrawal

I'm at work right now so this post has to be quick...

I feel so bad right now, like idk why, like I do but I don't really have anyone to talk to so I decided to hurry up back here and right a blog....

I feel so ugh just frustrated because I want to do it. Like I really do and I can't because bf has stuff to do and he can't be two places at once, like we started this morning and he was sleep and I wanted him to wake up so bad cuz I wanted to have sex, but he wouldn't wake up he just kept sleeping and it made me so angry on the inside like, idk I have a problem. I really do. like I even function right cuz I know he's leaving and I have to wait another weekend to see him again, like I feel like I'm going through a withdrawal. And it makes me feel so bad that I feel this way over sex, and Idk I just feel really bad and ashamed of myself that I have come to this, but I can't help it. I try so hard to resist, but its hard, it makes me mad and......... idk, I have to go so I'll finish with another post tonight to see if I feel better or not.

Im so happy with my life right now

Well this weekend has been so good to me. My mother, her friend and Mia came to get me from school on Friday and then i got to drive home, that made me happy cuz i like to drive and long trips make me happy. But then it got home and pulled up in front of my house only to find that my parent had already finished the deal and got my car for me.YES my very own car!!!!!!! That made me happy as shit cuz now i don't have to rid that crowded ass stinky bus home every weekend. Then on Saturday we went out o best buy and bought me a new radio to put in MY car and it is the shit and it has HD radio. how cool is that it like free xm radio. Then we went to this place called movie stop and o got like 4 movies. I also opened my own student checking account in my name and i asked about saving bonds. i feel so on my grown man shit out here trying to get money the legal way and doing big business. Then the thing that made this weekend the best so far is the amazing sex that me and Mia had all weekend OMG I'm drooling just thinking about it. The only thing that could have made this weekend so much better is if i would have got approved for a $500 credit limit on my checking account and if i would have got new speakers. but hay there is always Christmas. lol so that my blog on my life for the next 5 days or so i might type another one. and sorry for the sex thing but then it wouldn't be me if i didn't mention it right. and DEZERAY put my profile shit up you loser.

I Know Its Been A While

Okay so its been a couple weeks since my last post on here, but i dont know nothing really important happened that i thought i should blog about; but heres a couple weeks in review.


okay so i started my work study job, its sooooo awesome my boss is one of the nice women that i have ever met. She's so cool and laid back about everything, like she lets me leave early and still get paid for the whole time i was suppose to be there and plus other than the work i enter into the computer i pretty much dont do anything.

but since i live in an aprtment i had to go out and look for another job so here's a list of jobs that im not qualified for apparently:

1. to work at Macy's (WTF!?!?!)
2. to work at Armani Exchange
3. to work at Lacoste
4. to work at Levi's
5. there are many more but why list any you get the point.

but anyway ended up going for a group interview at Abercrombie. i got the job and im going to work there but i dont know how long ill be able to take the crappy techno and the smell (by the way they spray the mannequins every 30min thats why the smell doesnt EVER go away)

Ummm.... lets see what else....

well i can honestly say that i have made some really good friends here that i really enjoy to hang out with. (even though i still miss my friends from back home "D,J,M,T,L") anyway we all pretty much hang out everyday.

Of course my fam has started getting on my nerves (those of you who know me from back home know how much they can fucking get on my nerves) but the good thing about being here is that if i dont wanna talk to them i can just not answer the fone :)

Well thats pretty much it for now if i think of anything else ill blog

so write u guys later.

Ms Officer

weeeee ooo wee oo weooo we
[blackout]
heightened awareness
slight shift\total distraction
± 100%

Baby making season...

That's what fall reminds me of. Cuddling, smooching, love making, baby making in a sense. So my life has been pretty good nothing to crazy, just everyday life. I dropped my stupid math class, because its not challenging enough. so BOOM, its dropped. I feel happy which is good one less book to carry, one less class and I still have my required credits! YAY ME!!!!!!!

Soooooooo wuts new........
I want a baby. I do its in my mind and now I'm just gonna wait for god to give me my second bouncing baby girl. YES, I mean girl. I have to be the one to produce the first girl on Troy's side of the family! I HAVE TO!!!!!!!! like I just have to, even if not at least the first born great grand child/ grand child. I have to! I love fall and it makes me wanna just idk, do it. My sexual addiction has resurface, which I have been really good at covering, btw, its like my hormones are kicked into overdrive and wants to produce. nevertheless, I can wait... wait and wait for god to bestow me with a little one. When the time is right I know I will get it and be blessed. Then again, since Melanie was such an easy pregnancy, I just know this second little bastard is gonna be a doosey. I'm gonna be sick, angry and fat. Completely opposite of what I was with Mel Mel.I'm confused, I really am.

So I tells troy, I'm gonna copy jas cuz I like taking up space.

• Me- hey I want a baby!
• Troy- (calmly) no
• Me- why I want a baby.
• Troy- (still calm) no
• Me-But I want a baby give me a baby!
• Troy- NO! I'm not giving you a baby!

So I dropped it, left it alone. No point in having an argument about having a baby. I mean if he was to say sure, I'll give you my baby, he doesn't know that my body will not let it happen, like I believe because me and my doctor know things about my body that makes me

1. not easy to impregnate
2. easy to miscarriage
3. luck as hell i stumbled upon Melanie

In short I have a short cervix, not only short but way back in the cut somewhere, so if I want a baby so o........... a year or two from now, I need to start now.

O look at me rambling, I like rambling, I can get my thoughts across and say it to everyone and not have to repeat it. idk food for thought.

I think I'm gonna hit the hay, I have to get up early so i can fix breakfast and not starve the fuck to death by the time I get home. At least I don't have to get Melanie from my aunt's house...

O Her, she another topic.

I hate picking Melanie up from there! I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT !!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I hated going up Miguel's house but GOODNESS I hate going to get Melanie from there, not only to I have to walk 8 blocks, but I have to catch 2-3 buses depending on the route I take. First the 16, which takes me in front of her house, then wait for her to get Melanie ready, then the 35, which takes for ever, the if I choose the 51, which takes a century!!! and then the bus stop is full of crack heads, junkies, and drug dealers, I can't have my two year old around that! SO I get of the 35, and walk up my street. I get off at the end of the 400 south block and I live in the 100 block north. SO I would have to walk 6. but since the 001 block is divided into two blocks (soo stupid) it turn into 7-8 up hill. Then that woman, I hate old ppl who try to tell you how to raise your kids! I can't stand it! like lady you kid is grown and hates you, leave me the fuck alone cuz evidently you ain't did shit right so don't try teach me! like when I went to Miguel's house I had to take 3 buses (same one twice) and walk about 6 blocks down hill, and be home. but the bright side, she walked me to the bus stop ( the good for nothing shit) and waited, and then the bus we caught runs like hot water! so I'd b home fast as shit! compared to down south Baltimore with that miserable ass lady! who wants to charge me a arm and a leg to let my daughter sleep cuz that's all she does there. I just hate it, which is a reason I believe my headache too cuz I really hate going there and seeing her face and hearing her voice, I would much rather take her to her fathers house and have him pay whoever but no I thought this was the better way, boy was I wrong!!!!!!!!

Well Now I think I covered it! lets get a recap

• I want a baby
• Troy doesn't (at the moment)
• I hate my aunt
• but I'm happy

So that's it! I believe that I'm done and can write tomorrow, my mom's off so I'm hella free, so ttyl good nite world! (in Justin's case good evening lol)

"I don't know if I want to be THIS type of popular."

Okay so, someone the other day called me a "slut on the dance floor". At first I was like "What? I'm a slut? Maybe I should stop going to Marathon". But then I thought about it. Every time someone watches me dance, they're eyes get wide not because that's the millionth guy they saw me dance with that night, but because they thought I was "good" (or so they say). So being a "slut on the dance floor" just means that I dance with a bunch of guys who are willing to dance with me. If I have to be a slut, being a Slut of the Dance Floor would be my first pick, lol. Also, people are confusing Nneka (the other black girl) for me. Someone danced with her and was like "We danced before. Jasmine, Right?" And she was like. "Nooo" LOL. That's oober hilarious. (I get around don't I). Plus, me and Marcelo have a rep for pole dancing. :\. I don't know if I want to be THIS type of popular.

So, unfortunately, I might not be going to Marathon this weekend because I already made a promise to God and to myself that I wouldn't, and I don't like breaking my word to God, sooo..... It's because I want some of the unwanted attention on me to die down. Guys think just because I dance freaky on the dance floor that I'm going to sleep with them. HELL NO! If I don't know you and you're not cute, I'm not having sex with you, point blank. I may make-out with you but hell, that's it. I don't want the next rep of me to be an ACTUAL SLUT! That would be bad. ...I might just go to the casino because LEGAL GAMBLING AGE IS 18 IN NEW YORK STATE! WAAAaaa HOOOOOOoooo! So my Residence Hall is going for a "field trip". :)

On a less sluttier note (not really), Charlo and I had an interesting conversation at lunch yesterday. Everything that we said ended up in a sexual conversation:

Puppies: JASMINE: Puppies are soo cute. I'm in love with them. CHARLO: I know. Have you ever seen a puppy you just want to FUCK!? JASMINE: :-0!!!! CHARLO: Kidding!! JASMINE (laughs) I just saw a puppy the other day. CHARLO: And you wanted to fuck it!? JASMINE: No! I wanted to pet it. CHARLO: OK, if that's what you're calling it nowadays Jasmine. JASMINE: (look of concern) CHARLO (laughs) I love you.

· Salads: JASMINE: (upon seeing someone complain about to much dressing on salad) Man I love a lot of sauce (pause) I was going to make a joke but I stopped.CHARLO: (confused) Not sure where you were going with this.JASMINE: Idk, something about me being saucy. CHARLO: (pause) Or wet....(pause)...or juicy...(pause)....or....MARINATED (sexual tongue and lip gesture).

· Career Options:CHARLO: So if you weren’t an actress, at this very moment, what would you choose to be?JASMINE: Hmm I don’t know. I would have to say a computer-engineer since that was my first choiceCHARLO: (Pauses for hella long) I’d be a porn star.JASMINE: Aww come on we know you’re penis isn’t big enoughCHARLO: No one watches the guys anyway.JASMINE: Girls do. CHARLO: They don’t produce enough revenue to matter.

· Taking a shit:CHARLO: (After long pause) I don’t like that to take a shit here I have to do so much work. I have to roll up the toilet paper and place it. What happen to those seat covers you could pull out. One time I saw a toilet that when you press a button, a new sheet rotates and places itself on the seat.JASMINE: Cool! I wouldn’t even use it. I’d play with it. CHARLO: You can play with me………(pause)..Anywhooo…

· Acting Class:JASMINE: Remember what Steve said: Use an object then, put it down and try remembering the object with your hands. (plays with phone, puts it down tries playing with phone without it in her hand. )CHARLO: (concentrated on pretending to jerk off)

· Ice Cream:CHARLO: (eating ice cream…spills) Awww fuck!JASMINE: I saw thatCHARLO: (Stands up. White dripp-age on his crotch)JASMINE: Woah, what were you doing over there Charlo?CHARLO: Jerking off to my small penis!!

· Piercings:JASMINE: I have to get my ear fixed and get it repierced.CHARLO: My nipples are piercedJASMINE: Really?CHARLO: No (rubs his nipples)JASMINE: Me and my friend used to say that men shouldn’t have nipples.CHARLO: I’m sure they have some purpose. JASMINE: Well when you find it tell me. CHARLO: (Still rubbing his nipples)JASMINE: Girls don’t rub their nipples. They caress their boobs though (Starts rubbing her boobs) CHARLO: (Laughs…rubbing his nipples still) Someon’s going to come over here and say: “Excuse me, but could you please stop rubbing yourself’s. You’re disturbing people who are eating”.

So you see, me and Charo have some interesting convos about our sex life. Too bad people think he's gay.

Taste of strawberry in my Throat

Yes, and I mean that literary. Saturday we went to a hookah bar. It was fun, like i really enjoyed its not a harsh smelling at cigarettes or harsh on your lungs like weed... its smooth, and the flavor really sticks to your throat and doesn't make you cough like the other two, its the best of both worlds because you kinda get a little buzz, the calming of cigarettes, and the lifting you get from weed... HOOKAH. What a stress reliever, I wanna go back, or get my own... idk something....

Other news....I don't know really, nothing else is really new... Troy came home we went together to the hookah bar, he claims I bring the bad out of him, bullshit lol he knows he like it. :)
Lets see, work, same, home same, family same, everything is pretty good. I'm had some personal problems but nothing that's bad, just you keeping track of myself. Oh, did I ever mention, I don't believe I did, that I stopped taking my birth control pills?

I didn't well lets begin....
I didn't stop to start getting pregnant, I started so when I'm ready I can easily have one. So I tried stopping before, never worked, I always bleed forever and its messy and its just horrible and it makes me feel really bad about myself, but since I knew troy was gone and I knew that We wasn't having sex like we used to I decided to stop and take what happens as is, and it wasn't like before, I had an heavy period and I just knew that I was gonna b bleeding until October, but it stopped like it stopped with no help from me (normally I just take a bunch of bc and make it stop completely not healthy) So I'm happy that I now feel normal, back to the regular cycle, hopefully I might b a month or 2 before I regular, regular. but I just feel good to not have to remember to take no body's damn pills (sigh) Feels good :-D!!

So that's a story for today, I wasn't sappy and depressed today, I was earlier but now I happy!

What's the big effin deal anyway.....

So another Marathon, Egyptian themed. It was just like any other Marathon except that I wasn't NEARLY as drunk. Actually, by the time I got to the party I was pretty sober, I just acted drunk and that made it a little better. First of all, someone gave me a cigarette and some weed WORST THINGS EVER!! I'm probably like the only person in the world who hates that stuff but I know one thing, I'm never trying it again. Secondly, I'm not going to Marathon for a while because I'm just tired of embarrassing myself, lol. I didn't embarrass myself too bad. The DJ thought I was going to spill my drink on his laptop. Why the fuck would do that. Dumbass Patrick Murney.

Thirdly, I finally proved to the people on my floor that I wasn't a fucking loser. They've never been to a Marathon before and I saw them there and I'm like WTF what is my floor doing here. They loved the party but they didn't know that I party there every weekend so they were like "I'm proud of you. You're always so quiet" And I'm like Bitches, yall don't know me. I'm never quiet. Yall just always see me in my quiet mood, lol. But wutev. They now now how much of a party girl I am.

Fourth, Marcelo left me AGAIN! Even though he promised he wouldn't. But I don't blame him He's been tryna get some for ever and he finally got the chance so I let him do what he was going to do.

Fifth, I danced with Carlos again which was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. He's my fav guy to dance with. Troy is my second fav guy to dance with. James is my third fav guy (I think it's because they're all ethnic, lol). Everyone else needs a little work. Like there's this one dude who always finds me and everytime he dances with me he get's blue balls so bad that he aways squeezes me and almost always chokes the hell out of me, lol. I seriously have to watch out for him. All the other guys I dance with, I have no idea who they are. Most of the black guys there are sucky dancers (Which is surprising). So, wutev. I won't be going to a Marathon for a while so maybe when I go back they'll be better ones

Sixth, after the cops made us bounce, I went with Josh, some girl, and Nneka to Insomnia cookies. We were getting so many stares (mainly me) because I had on this short as shorts but I had on a long ass jacket. So it looked like I was naked. But it was fun though, I was with people so I know that I wasn't going to get raped. And me and Nneka (being the only black girls) were about to kick these two white chicks ass because they were talking shit about someone's friend. I don't know who she was but she's a drama person so I had to stick up for her, lol.

By the time my day was over, I was completely sober. I remember every single detail which is good. I don't know. I'm starting to think my hard party days are coming to an end. I kind of want to chill.......

So much to do, only one weekend

Today, was a good day! I just felt good, maybe because I finally have new clothes to wear! like not jeans but just dressy causal clothes that make me feel smart and sexy!

So to my title.........
So much to do in only a few days to do it.... my list goes like this...

1. go to a bar
2. get tattoo's
3. go to a party
4. go to a hookah bar
5. do it
6. work
7. be a mom

Just a whole bunch in like no time! I know I'm going to the hookah bar Saturday! I even did like research on what hookah is and the flavors. Like I read a book about the middle east and the girls father smoked a water pipe like I didn't know that, that was hookah you! learn something new everyday.

So I'm just uber happy and idk what else to say!

Oh yea wish me luck because tomorrow is the test out day for my stupid ass math class, wish me luck!!!!!

Cheez-It!!!

I don't really know what to put in this blog........


Well, the most important thing is, Charlo has finally made an effort to make a relationship with me lol. (Btw, Charlo is this TOTALLY AMAZING guy in my CORE who I'm in love with) Anyway, today, in Voice, I was doing something with my pants and he goes "Are you okay?" And I'm like "You know how when you're sick and you get sick pain? Well I'm sick and I have sick pain". So I squat...grab the crotch part of my sweatpants (I didn't actually grab my crotch) Then I made this face (you know those Jasmine faces I always make). I did it because my legs were hurting. So he laughs and he goes, "I'm in love with you SOOOO much". Then, I couldn't stop smiling. That's the second time he's told me he loved me in the past two weeks. The first time I ignored it because it was after we did an assignment: Here's the assignment because it was amazing.

So we had to come into Acting class one day as our opposite. Well, there were 3 BIG assholes in the class (As opposites), and one little asshole. I was a Big asshole since I'm completely the opposite in real life. So was Charlo and this boy Matt. Well, after a while, me and Charlo realized that neither one of us got along with Matt (his opposite) so we formed like this asshole crew that Julie (The little asshole) joined in on. So we were the asshole triangle by the end of class. It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. So at the end of the day, Charlo comes up to me and is like "You're the only person I talked to. I liked you". So I was like oh okay cool...so he likes me as an asshole. Great. But then we were on the bus stop and he goes "I love you. You're so funny". And I'm like yaay, he loves me...but I didn't dwell too much on it, lol. So then we have lunch together and he's like "We're the same person" blah blah blah. Like all of these things about how much we have in common and I'm like "Too bad opposites attract" LOL.

But I'm cool. I do like him but I like him on a level where I know it's not going to be serious between us. I'm perfectly okay with making him like me...and then being satisfied lol. If I can get him to that point, I'm fine and I can move on with my life. Until then, mission "Attract Charlo" is still in it's baby days.

Btw, I found out he wasn't the one that wrote all the comments about how I was pretty and stuff...Liam did (I LOVEEEEEE Liam). But, he did write that I have cute dimples lol.

stacks on deck, patron on ice, and we can pop bottles all night baby

I feel terrible about not having time to blog. I have a billion drafts on here because every time i start to write something i have to leave. But its seriously because I've been SO BUSY here. First of all life here has been so social. I have this really close group of friends: Kerri, Coia, Amanda, and then there's Catherine (kerri's roommate), RayRay (we have similar taste in guys lol), Ade (he makes me laugh), Mercy (we have a lot of the same classes), and some others that like I just met but are really cool. Some are ... interesting ... like these two sketch guys from Wolman who will remain nameless for now. Others I dont even really know yet but seem cool like this guy TJ who hangs around with Amelia and this other guy. He has a lot of charisma - I NEVER remember names of people I just met but I remember his because he said if he were a girl he would want his name to be Dezeray. he seems silly lol. And there's like those who i wish I saw around more, like Rebka (gotta love her) and Natalie (she makes the cutest imitational sounds and she recognizes my shampoo :D) and Tosin (she's IN my dorm but I still never see her!! wtf) and Tirsit (she is SO awesome. the first thing I remember about her is her telling everyone what she didn't like). Everyone here is cool in their own way, and I love that about here. We all just click, like, so easy.

Anyway this past weekend was very exciting. After the eventless week, where the most noteworthy thing we did was go to Towson mall where Kerri bought all this stuff and then we got lost trying to get home because this guy gave us bad directions. And another day we went to a Walmart and Target that I've never been to. But this weekend the frats opened their doors for another wonderful two days and I was ecstatic lol. My weekend started on Thursday, when Amanda, Nigel and I went to the den. The Den is this bar. They had cheap drinks, 2 shots for 5 bucks, but before you form opinions about me in your head I did not drink more than a shot, +/- 0.5 shots. So of course at MOST I could only have been buzzed. In case you havent noticed I drink a lot less than I did in high school. In high school, you know, we had that expensive hardcore stuff that burned your throat and that had to be hidden in thermoses and mixed with other drinks like coke or cranberry juice. And I downed that stuff. But in college, I don't drink that much, if I drink at all. I don't drink at frats because of the germs and potential roofies. i would rather drink on my own and then go, or have something in a can or bottle. Besides I dont really like beer.

Anyway the Den was crazy fun, I could not stop dancing once I started lol. What I like about the bar is that there are lots of places to sit, or stand up on and dance. And it's also different in that you don't have to dance with guys. You can dance with like, your girls. Which you know looks sexy lol. And it's funny cause like you can tell people are watching but you know they won't have the guts to come dance with you because of the scene lol. In a bar you could get rejected if you try to dance with someone lol, especially if they look out of your reach. So yeah the bar is interesting. At the frats you get a little more satisfaction lol though because people dance with random people. I particularly like pike and a close second is wawa. And sigep was nice too. Their drinks looked cleaner and if I had to choose one to drink at it'd be them. I liked it there too. Actually the only thing I didn't like about there is that the guy we were with fucked up the music trying to adjust the blacklight so we had to hurry and get out of there lol. it had just cut off and no one knew why but those two. Pike has THE BEST music - music I can really get loose to - and wawa has AC which makes it easier to dance. But I don't know about the guys in wawa. There were these few guys who liked watched us for ever and right when we were about to move they tried to introduce themselves to us and we were like, ew, lol. Even jasmine at syracuse can tell you - plotting is gross. Still, wawa is like one of the best. Pike is like my favorite though.
Oh and one thing about frats here - the floor. Don't ever wear flip flops, EVER. You will step in puddles of alcohol and people will spill stuff on your foot, and you will have to watch where you walk because there empty cups and deep puddles of spilled drinks everywhere. Just wear shoes that cover your feet, please. And dont wear heels. Frat hopping means walking a lot, and then how can you dance if you can't stand up? Barefoot isn't an option lol. Either way, I wish i could get my friends from home to come to pike with me. I think mia would like it if she were a little buzzed, and I KNOW jasmine would. lisandra should. you can't have inhibitions if you come with us - cause we just get out there and dance.

This past weekend on Friday there was this party in the glass pav thrown by like one of the black sororities / fraternities. It was like dually hosted by a frat/sorority at Morgan. It was fun even though you had to pay to get in. Someone paid for me; i wasn't gonna go at first lol. It was just annoying how the party was in the glass pav. Its an effing glass building! All it was was hella lights everywhere and hella space. Like, it took until it was almost over for people to dance with people. If it were darker and smaller people would have had more fun, like at the one I went to at morgan or like the one the bsu threw here in Levering hall. I enjoyed myself a lot at the end lol. I did get creeped out by this one guy who tried to get me to call his phone so he would have my number but it wasn't something a quick lie couldn't take care of. Some of my friends (i.e. two stooges guys 1 and 2) came to the party drunk lol. Idk. There was another one there Saturday that was also dually hosted by us and Morgan but I think the first one was better. I got here late cause I went with Troy and Mia to this really fun orioles game and Melanie was so adorable the whole time so I missed going to pike but when i got back they had just arrived at the glass pav party so I met them there. I didnt pay for this one either, I just basically walked in *wink wink*. This one was mediocre. We were there for about two seconds, and then we left. Most of our time was spent trying to talk ourselves out of dancing with these creepos that were all the way on the other side of the room sending messengers and crap to talk to us. We were like, eh, no. We tried to go back to pike or wawa but the cops had shut them down. I was thouroughly disappointed that the cops killed my rites of passage but we went to go chill outside on that strip (where university market and subway are) cause thats where everyone who got kicked out of the frats went and mingled. it was still fun there cause we met a lot of funny people. I met TJ (again?) and like scored food from people I didnt even know lol. Its great there because random people always start conversations with random people. There were some very interesting people we met that night, like this one guy who was a comedian and his friend was like ' i went to law school and i own my own business' and this other guy who was drunk and kept introducing himself as adam from towson who plays lacrosse and tried to give us our chain so we would go with him in his car (um , no!).

Anyway I have a class at 1:30 so i gotta jet. The night ended when we all went back to Wolman and fell asleep on the couches watching Tv. me and kerri got up at 8 something to go back because amanda got up and left us lmao but seriously i gotta go im so glad i got kind of caught up with blogging

Mile High Club

SOOOOOOOOOoooooo....

You're probably sitting there asking yourself: "Mile High Club? What? You joined the Mile High Club?" No...I didn't. Not the official one anyway. Marathon this weekend had the theme of "Mile High Club" and it was (rather) amazing. I wore this button up shirt, that was buttoned wrong, this slutty ass shorts that wouldn't zippen, this fucked up tie, and then to finish it off, this girl made me "condom wings" haha. It was awesome.

So, I "pre-gamed" (i hate that word) in Marcelo's room. We played the drinking game called "Kings" (A-M-A-Z-I-N-G). So, we walked to Marathon all half drunk and what-not. We got lost a few times but then we somehow made it to the Marathon house, and of course, the first thing I did, was go to the dance floor. The dance floor was a little weak at first and the guys I danced with COULD NOT DANCE AT ALLLL!! I slipped and fell once while dancing and this other guy slipped and fell while dancing so I walked away from him (lol). [btw...i hate when you can tell that someone wants to dance with you cuz they keep moving behind you, lol. I didn't want to dance with him but I was like "Fuck it"]. I danced against the wall and like some guy started dancing against me and I turn around to see and it's Mark Dorenfast, the gay senior rep. So I was like..."ohh it's okay, he's gay, lol." So, I watched two people from my CORE make out, Natasha and Matt (don't ask why I watched. I was drunk). Emily, my other friend, was HELLA drunk and I was like..."I need to make out with someone" and she was like "I'll make out with you" haha. We didn't make out. I wasn't that drunk.

SOOOOOOOOOooooooo....

I followed Charlo around (Covertly) because I wanted to FUCKING KISS HIM! But this asshole kept moving. He seems really fidgety when he's drunk. It's cute. So I was like "Fuck it. Maybe next Marathon". So Marathon was OKAY! It didnt knock my socks off. But I always get a kick out of it because I always make some guy OOBER HORNY because they always pull at me to dance with them or follow me around and like while we're dancing they'll hold onto me extra tight and I'm like "Chill, nigga, chill". (But it's fun to know you have that effect). Or like, some gay guy is always like "I LOVEEE THIS GIRLL!! YOU BETTER WORK IT GIRL!! YOU BETTER WORK IT!!" (I attract hella gay guys...it's ridiculous)

SOOOOOOOOOooooooo....

Marcelo and Millly left me (of course). I checked my phone it said 1:30 so I knew they left. And it was raining. IT'S ALWAYS FUCKING RAINING! So, I call them and of course, Marcel's always lke "I'm sorry" and I'm always like "Its (fucking) Okay" So. I start walking (mind you, I don't know what the fuck I'm thinking. It's POURING down raining...and I mean POURING...and my dorm is like 30 minutes away and it's 1 FUCKING 30 IN THE MORNING and he calls me and he's like "My Big is going to come and get you". So I run back to the house, wait (...in the rain...) and I don't see him. So I start walking again and I get about half a mile away and he calls again like "My BIG is there waiting for you" So I fucking...RUN BACK. My weave is drenched (but it's okay cuz I had a perm), and I'm half naked running in the rain. So I get there, and the cutest thing happens...

Charlo stumbles out of the house (I thought he left btw) and goes "HIIIIII" and waves and smiles and stumbles off to the backyard. So cute.

Anyway, I find his BIG and he drives me home. I come home, sobered up a bit, comb out my weave, fix my room up a bit and fall asleep. This has been the first time I've been sober when I came home, so sober that I remember everything! But, I feel good now! My weave looks A-M-A-Z-I-N-G because it's curly from getting wet and I don't have a hangover.

The only thing I regret it 1) not making out with Charlo. And 2) Scratching up my phone (my father will flip).

But it's ALLLL GOOOOoooDDDDdddd.

This life is taking all of my energy

This title refers to the song "energy" by Keri Hilson. Even though it refers to love, I can relate to the general idea u kno.

MY LIFE
So I wake up at 6 everyday to go to school
go to school
go to work
wait for buses
get Melanie
go home
clean her/feed her
put her to bed (this is all done by 10)
do homework
talk to boyfriend (fiancee)
go to bed around 1
wake up at 6

This is very stressful.
If people new how often I thought about killing myself, they'd probably put me in some kind of crazy house lol, but I do think about it a lot cuz I feel so stressed but then it seems like every time I look at that little girl of mines and how cute, and special and smart she is..... that thought soon vanished. But I do think about quitting a lot. I am in so much finical debt its ridiculous. I owe my aunt 160 dollars. My cell phone bill is 2 something. I want to move out but I just can't see how in the hell i can afford it. I'm just stressed and I hate being stressed like this. I have these crazy ass monster headaches that come out of no where like its so hard and it seems like everyone wants so much from me that I feel like I'm slowly killing myself. My boyfriend wants me to hurry hurry and find an apartment before he comes home in the winter, but I'm stressing cuz i cant see i way I can do this and i don't have ne money so I'm like fucked in the ass. My mother is always fussing and nagging me about something and that's stressing me. My daughter's father is like always on my back about why I'm am acting so weird and why this and why that. and I'm like telling him that I have things to do and he doesn't understand because he's a drop out he never made it to the part when school really stresses you out. Then money.... Not having money is stressful in its own. I have so many bills and no money that I'm just stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was on the bus stop earlier stressing of course. cuz Melanie's father only gave me 40 towards my 200 dollar baby sitting fee. I just couldn't take. I'm on park heights and Hayward bursting out in tears, because I'm so stressed. I cry so much now that I feel like I don't even have tears ne more. Its just soooo hard. And it crazy cuz I cry at like random. I don't even know like when I start I just can't stop! I don't know, I think I'm like going crazy....

I don't even know anymore... I need to go to bed, so I guess I can sleep my problems away I guess.


Or maybe I should bottle them up and tell no one. No one cares anyway.........

Well the most amazing thing that happened to me was while she was here

Well this campus is the worse place ever but this weekend was amazing. My family came and my wife came and we had the best time ever. Now no we didn't fuck all day and night, we maybe not all day ,but we played the best game of spade that i ever played. And i got to see the persons that I've been wanting to see for a while. I had the best time ever and was so relieved and happy to get "a load off". that has a double meaning. but I'm happy and I'm coming home this weekend to chill with my awesome friend Dezeray and Mia and see my cousin play football so that will be a blast so looking forward to that. That's all for now while I'm in this dump a have inspiration so it might be a while. SO GOOD NIGHT:*

cheese steaks and ice creams... and all the other weird things happening to me

So today started out pretty bad... my mother comes in my room and tries to start an argument with me! So 6 in the morning we are back and forth back and forth! she like called me a liar and I made her think that way of me, so I'm like WHOA!!!!!!!!! Melanie is 2 years old? wtf r u talking about? if you don't just get over that! and she's looking all dumb founded and stuff, so to myself I'm thinking yea feel dumb don't u ! So I ended up being late for class because she wants to argue and shit.


So on to something more relative to my title.....
I've been craving hot spicy food, along with shrimp cheese steaks, and vanilla ice cream! like IDK WHY, I'm craving this but I want it. Like I want the polish hot treats that come in the red and white pack, yea..... I am them, and some really hard vanilla ice cream, like stuck to my spoon hard....... omg, and I want some ice too.... and I've been on a ginger ale tip too, not Canada dry that's too sweet but Seagram's ginger ale. idk why but that's what I've been wanting.


SO I figured two possible ways to jump start my life!

• take out a loan get caught up on my bills and hopefully get an apartment.
• wait for my refund to come catch up on bills, and then maybe be caught up enough to get a loan and be able to pay it.......

Idk those are just some starters.

So after me and my mother like had an argument, my day seemed just shitty. but it got better my manager is gonna take me shopping Monday and buy me new clothes something I don't have. So that made me super happy. then my mom I guess as a make up present brought me my bus pass, lol I guess. idk.

What else.........

I think that's it really school better I got my book vouchers, classes are fine I love my intro to sociology class. everything is good, I got my work study assignment, working 9 and hrs pretty good for doing nuffin. I'm just generally happy, plus from work study (WS) I leave way earlier than I would at the zoo, so i super happy. everything is working for me, as long as I take it one day at a time and don't get stressed!!!!!!!

PS

its kinda hard for me to blog frequently because I do have like 2 jobs, school, and parenting to do, so please please forgive me lol

gfdsrujnhgksergratrew4ary4536uy..........

i'm going to make this quick, short and simple because i'm really in no mood to type but i felt like this would make a good story. so last night, i went to another drama party. not as crazy as marathon but it was cool. here's a little overview of what i did. i went to josh's bigs house and they walked us to the party. i paid to get in and stuff. and the first thing i did was go to the bar. this black guy must've become fond of me because he gave me discounts on drinks. first thing i had: a vodka and cranberry. second thing i had: a vodka and cranberry. then i went to the keg downstairs. after that i was ready to role. i started dancing with yet another gay guy who is like IN LOVE with me. it seems like everywhere i went in the party someone was going: JASMINEEE!!!!! lol i loved it. after that, i danced with my friend marcelo on a pole. that was cool because we were like..strippers lol. then i danced with this one guy who said: "you're a bad girl...and i like it" haha. it's cool having people think that you're the life of the party. so after a while, after dancing through like 9 straight songs, i had pulled my shirt up again (well it was a athletic themed party) and went to go get my beer but someone had stepped on it lol. so i went back to the bar but they were out of vodka...so i got a coke and rum BIGGGGG MISTAKE.

so everything from there is a fuzzy haze. i danced with the black bar tender for a while then he was like: "i'm just wondering if you're a better kisser". so yeah i like made out with him...big whoop people do that at parties. so...the friends that i was supposed to walk home with left me...so the bar guy walked me. good thing though because i was sooooo drunk i couldn't see a thing. i don't remember how we got here. all i remember him say was that his apartment was close by that he had a couch he could crash on and i'm like "hmmm adam?" haha. i don't remember how he got signed in (because after 8 you have to sign all guests in). i remeber the guy writing down something but, i don't remeber getting on the elevator (but i do remember walking drunkily to my room while people were in the hall [embarassing!]. so we got to my room and starting making out again and he's like "i know you don't want me to leave" and i'm like "oh yes i do". so i push him out my room, pull off my clothes and then all of a sudden, i feel sick. so i throw up on my bed (and i wonder why i didn't throw up in the trash can which was RIGHT NEXT TO IT). but i'm like "why is it red? oh yeah...i had chili. wut ev" and i like pass out in my bra and underwear on the bed (After taking the sheets off).

so that was my night. my morning sucked balls because the alcohol hasn't worn off (Still hasn't). i go to wash my sheets but the smell won't come out so i throw them away. i slept until 3, ate, but everywhere i went it smelled like vomit so i passed. then i had to talk to my father for a half and hour on the phone with a hangover. and now i'm sitting here typing this feeling dizzy and smelling vomit! ahhhhhh! and i realized...IT'S BECAUSE I FUCKING MIXED LIGHT AND DARK. i only get that sick when i don't pay attention to the rules. so i'm going to pass out again before my floor meeting.

goodnight

My Friends (an piece of my mini-autobiography for my writing class)

My friends are my guiding force. They are the only people in my life that can feel my emotions even before I can; no matter how far apart we may be. My friends are true to the end. They have always had my back no matter what was going on. My four best friends are like the other parts of me. We are all so similar but at the same time we all bring something else to the table that the others lack. We are all very random, goofy people that just like to have fun. But my friend Dezeray also adds this perfect innocent and optimistic view of the world that none of the rest of have. My friend Mia brings this sense of brutal honesty; she tells us what we need to hear not necessarily what we want to. Mia along with Troy (her boyfriend) are like the mom and dad of the group they keep us all grounded and focused ahead. And Jasmine is the one that brings the cool and calm side to everything, as well as the artsy side. I’m kind of the planner, I make sure that no matter what we keep in contact and that when we can, we spend time together. And together we’re like this perfect circle.

Clouds in my Coffee..

Okay, so there's no real way to describe my whole like, week in one title...because it was a bit "cloudy". (Ahhh...see that connection). Well okay, for starters, there's a Marathon tonight but I don't think I'm going to go because I have a 30 minute presentation to start, a play to write, and 8 reading assignments all due on either Tuesday or Thursday. So I need to start get cracking on that.

Second, I'm so glad Thursday is over...it's my worse class schedule day over. When they made the Drama schedules, they didn't take into consideration that Syracuse Stage is the second fartheset thing from the campus (It's about a 20 minute walk from campus). And so they gave me two classes today that I have to get to in 10 minutes from Syracuse Stage...that's not happening. So I leave my classes early. Today I got lucky because the bus came in the morning when I had to leave my first class early to get to Stats and the second time, we got out of Theatre Production earlier so I was even able to go to CVS and pick up some Cranberry juice, lol.

Speaking of Stats, MY STATS CLASS IS SOO FUCKING DUMB! Like the teacher thinks she's teaching middle school, my class is so slow. This one dude pissed me off because he spent like 30 minutes confused talkign about: "I don't get why that's concave up and that's concave down" DUMMY! BECAUSE CONCAVE UP CURVES "UP" AND CONCAVE DOWN CURVES "DOWN! He was all like "But, concave up is getting closer to zero so how is it curving up" OMG...these people.

But besides that, I got excited because we did a little calculus today with Normal Distribution and Density Curves. I was like "AHHH DAMSEAUX" Like everybody else in the class was like "DURRHHHHHH *drool*" lol. I swear like, I feel smart now because no one took calculus before so I'm like...ohh the formula for that is the integral of xf(x)dx. ohh the formula for that is integral from negative infiniti to m f(x) = 1/2. I was on a role. I miss HL MATH :(

Oh, and I also discovered, (While doodling) in my acting class this morning that the reason why I can speak on stage but not in the front of a classroom is because when I'm in a classroom, I'm Jasmine, and Jasmine has that fear. But when I'm on stage I'm that character and it says no where that that character has that fear. Omg I'm a genius lol

And also, I spoke to Carlos today (sigghhh). He was like "When we gonna dance again?" and like smirked at me. I almost died...

Another random statement.....it's been 2 long agonizing weeks but I finally found a guy here that I like, and his name is Charlo. (Sigh) lol. He's just soo..........idk. Like he's so withdrawn which makes me want to get to know him more. (Yeah I kinda like Carlos but I don't know if he's gay or not, lol). But back to Charlo. Like we did this exercise in my CORE class on Wed. where we individually stood in front of the classroom while everyone else (without putting their name on the paper) observed us and wrote down things that we did as ourselves and how that affected the way we came off to them. So, of course everyone wrote down things for me like:

Fidgety
Looks like she wants to dance
Smiles alot/ looks friendly
Looks like the life of a party
Cannot stand still
In touch with roots (lol)
Restless
playful with hands
fun
strong
professional but crazy
cool calm and collected
young at heart
I'd feel like she'd be a good patty-cake partner (haha)
sense of humor (And mind you they got all of this from how I was standing and moving)
mature
jumpy
giddy
easy going

Short attention span

gets bored easily
self-conscious

BUT THEN...someone put...all of these....(not traits)...but like....features/compliments like:

pretty
cute dimples
would love to be around her

blah blah blah. And like, after my teacher read them off and gave it to me I was like...a guy had to write this because the handwriting read 'guy'. So....now I'm determined to see if it was Charlo. I'm sitting next to him on Monday and seeing lol. Jasmine is on an investigation

Oh and something funny happened. So we were in Marcelo's room chilling and he went to shower. So, my father called me (on my new voyager :)) and so I accidentally took his keys with me. So I gave them to Mily who decided to play a trick on Marcelo. So me, Josh and Milly are chilling in the chill area on their floor and locks his door and stuff. So Milly runs off somewhere with his keys. So Marcelo gets out of the shower and goes to his room and it's locked and he's like: "HEY!" so we're laughing and what not. So he's like..."Imma go to your room and put on your underwear". So he takes my keys, goes to my room, tries to take my clothes. I'm screaming like "NO DON'T PUT ON MY UNDERWEAR" lol. But I finally convince Milly to come back...but it's like the funniest thing ever haha because he's running around in his towel, which almost fell off lol.

Major

I'm double majoring in sociology and probably romance languages and I'm gonna be pre-med. Yay.

First Day of Classes

okay so things didnt start out on such a great note for me i hated being this far away but now im actually adjusting to it (it sure as hell took long enough).

My First Day Of School!!!!!

okay so i woke up extra early (like 9:00am when my first class didnt start till 2:05pm) just so i could go and get my books and to get my ID card. well everything appears like its going well (by the way my ID pic sucks cuz their camera sucks; i look like a cartoon ... lol) untill i get to my first class Stats and i realize that they sold me the wrong text book. so i sit through the class which was great, cool people nice teacher, just plain great.

okay so i met this new girl named she is totally the hottest girl that i have seen since ive been in hawaii (i actually first saw her at the business school meeting but i didnt talk to her). Like she is soooo hot, she's nice, she likes math (seriously), and (heres one of the big things) she likes drama and we even have the same major. so needless to say im completely on her wheels now (lol). 

okay so after my great experience in Stats i go to Physical Science 1000 which turns out to be the most basic physics class ever invented so its like Mr. Cameron's class all over again only if he were teaching it to like middle school kids (thats how easy its gonna be). so i  completely hate that class i feel asleep in it then i started texting mia. My teacher is the definition of a dork i swear to you when i get my camera i'll take a pic and upload it on here he's just to dorky for words.

So after my two classes i decide i'll go back to the bookstore and get the right Stats book so i don't fail, but first i have to wait in the "BOOK LINE FROM HELL!!!!!!!" so i wait in it only to find out that the book i actually need costs $50 more than the book i brought. like WTF!!!!!!!! the first book they sold me cost $128.50, so the new one is damn near $200 who the fuck pays $200 for a book seriously? so i go back to financial aid and ask them if they can give me another book charge cause i don't have $50 just to waste on a book. so the man goes in the back and gives me another book charge for $100 ($50 more than i need; he fucking better had) so now not only can i get my book but i can get some other shit that i might decide i want and i dont have to put up any cash. so then i was happy again

so over all a pretty great day (but its funny that i have one girl on my wheels while im def. on the wheels of another) i cant wait to see how this one works out)

oh yeah and its totally fucked up no matter what i do i cant get away from fucking Thing Fall Apart i avoided it twice in high school and now i actually have to read it for my anthropology class ugh!!!!

Acting is making me a serious stalker!

Okay, so (lol) I'm laughing because this was the funniest highlight of my day. So, this acting book that I'm reading that I quoted from earlier, "Unnatural Acts", has these little exercises that we have to do that's collected at the end of the semester. Well, one of the exercises involves me watching a stranger and seeing how their body, face, movement, etc. effect my opinion of them. Well, I figured it was going to be kinda weird walking around staring at someone for a while, so I decided to do this a little discreetly, by the side of a building (yeah, it's still didn't work). So there's like this ledge I was sitting on. I had my book and notebook out (As a cover) and was ready to spy on one person who was brave enough to sit near me. BAM! Specimen number one sat next to me. I couldn't really look at them closely because they would know. Besides, they got up and walked away anyway so I scratched them out my list. BAM! Specimen number two. She sat a little farther and didn't face me so she was perfect. I started jotting down things.

So as you know, it's still summer so it's pretty hot here, and the heat makes me tired. Not to mention I had already been to 2 long classes and I was on my way to another one. So, when I'm hot and tired, I tend to daze off, unconsciously, and guess where I happened to be dazing....right in the girls face that I happened to be watching. Now, I wasn't acknowledging her face, but I guess she thought I was because she keep glancing at me. I'm pretty sure she "Guessed" I was spying on her because a) I was b) the notebook and crap and c) it looked as though I was staring at her from my dazing. So I snapped out of it, realized what I was doing and looked away embarrassed (I knew I should've watched a guy. She probably thinks like I'm a lesbian or something). So after that, she walked away (without me noticing) and I'm like "damn" I'm scaring people away, lol.

So another funny (Awkward) moment happened when I was at the carnival on Saturday with my friend Josh. We had went together and we were waiting for my friends Milly and Marcelo. I was already freaked out to be around him because Milly and Marcelo already believed that we had a "Thing" going on because HE ALWAYS FUCKING FOLLOWS ME! So we're at the carnival and he buys Dippin' Dots because I do and plays this game because I do and I'm like Josh...for Christ Sakes get a life. So we play the game twice and he ends up winning and asks me what I want and I'm like HELLL NO! I'm not taking anything from your ass. So he gets a frog (because he sees that I have a frog necklace) and tries to give it to me, yet I reject it (lol). So then I go to another game and there's this BIGGER FROG there and like the guy is like "So you're gonna win that for her" but I ignore him and I play...not JOSH...but ME. I! (I lose). So the guy is like "Aww come on, show her how to do it." and he's like "NAWW" and I'm like "Good boy" and the guy goes "Well don't you love her"

THAT BITCH!

I walked away. Just because I'm walking with a guy does not mean we're dating, asshole! That ruined my day. I never want to be with Josh alone....EVER again!

Activities

here is what i've been up to here:

new student convocation
picnic on quad for all freshman (the food was delicious the first day and so so the second day)
ice cream social (we had two of these)
playfair
ethics assembly
cultural diversity assembly (i overslept and missed this)
class picture (we were organized as the letters JHU '12 and its gonna look really cool because it was an overhead shot)
BBQ for SSS and MAPP (in a few min)
meeting with SA / student advisor
floor meeting with RA / resident advisor
outdoor movie (hellboy the first day and ironman tonight)
security assembly (they gave us rape whistles and i registered my laptop to protect against theft)
night at the museum (i skipped out on this one)
beach BBQ for SA's and all students (i skipped out on this too)
christian finnegan comedy show (i missed this cause i went to the pajama jam)
pajama jam (this is the bsu party i was gushing about
inner harbor trip to the aquarium and bodyworlds (um ... i live here ... SKIP)
sexcapades (this is later tonight ... it better be funny)
all the frats and student groups throw parties at night. (i wonder if this is the usual or if they are all trying to win over new freshmen)
TOMORROW
dean's assembly (i may miss this on purpose)
engineering and arts and sciences open house (eh)
frozen yogurt and frisbee social (wow i wish justin and jasmine and kahri were here tomorrow to enjoy that)
student employment fair
student volunteering fair
student outdoor activities fair
identity theft assembly
financial awareness workshop
gay straight alliance panel discussion
Hopkins pillow talk (from what I hear this is basically a panel about sex and funny stories and where you can ask any question. its only for girls)
digital media panel/tour
rec center panel/tour (at the same time as the one on digital media)
second mandatory SA meeting
O-show (a show put on my groups at hopkins like dance groups, comedy, and singing)
closing ceremonies (we are promised ice cream)

classes start thursday. but orientation isn't over. we STILL have the option of going to
a bazillion other events i dont plan on typing but include "crabs and quesadillas" and a "green festival" and "kickball tournament" and a "hypnotist show"

Im so impressed with the way this school treats incoming students. Imagine how much money must have went into this! I mean I guess when you're receiving upwards of 51k per student a year, they can afford to treat us like royalty here. Our school ID's arent identity cards, they're freakin debit cards. you swipe them to do everything, from laundry to entering dorms to getting a soda from a vending machine. I love how being a Hopkins student comes with all these perks and I also love how we are constantly reminded that we earned it. i can't wait for my stipend to come in cause I have to borrow to buy books right now before thursday ugh.

No time but its temp!!

I've been too busy. Blogging is such a time commitment. Last time i started a blog i couldnt finish it and then gave up. So instead of struggling to finish that outdated one I'm gonna just start from scratch. Guys (readers), I met the most awesome people. From the drop dead sexy 18 year old freshmen I met at the pizza place to the girl under my room with the super cool guys in a triple across from her to the party chick in the neighboring building with the exact same tastes in guys as me to everybody. I learned the dutty wine and I'm in love with that song, and I met the most awesome sophomores (one of which went to poly but is still cool lol) and the most drop dead sexy junior ever. He is a knockout. The band guy is too. They are both too sexy to be true. lol

Um events, events. Let me see. overall I am having an amazing time. We went to PARTIES. The usual. There was the most amazing retreat in the boondocks lol where I had no phone service, but i did have an awesome room and awesome room mates.

Let me tell you about the parties. I'm sure that's what you'd like to hear about. Yesterday the BSU threw the most awesome party in the world. The BSU is pretty much like the cool people club. There are different races in the bsu but the one thing I noticed that we all have in common is that we are super fun people to be around. So last night I had the time of my life. Loud music and people who were dancing without a care in the world - my perfect definition of fun! Man when I get 18 I wanna go clubbing every night if thats what it's like. And I also am learning how to work out a charlie horse BEFORE it happens. Nice. Tonight a senior from like another club that knows a lot of people from the bsu threw a party in his off campus apartment. his apt was in the basement, but it was bad cause some lady kept saying our music was too loud and saying we had to cut it off. Besides the ratio of guys to girls was like 1 to a million. I mean there were literally no guys there. So it coulda been better but it was still an OK way to spend a few hours. Before that we (me and my close friends) were just chilling in the Wolman dorms. Its so cool how like the Wolman dorms have become like the spot to chill. I kicked some guy's tail today in Madden 07 and it was really fun. I hope I did not emasculate him or anything lol cause I want us to bond. There are some real cuties here by the way. I've only seen a few, but they're here.

Anyway I'm so busy all the time but I'm sure once classes start and there isn't an activity every 2 minutes I can write more often. I'm so excited for classes now ... I really love the ones I'm taking.

Going to a private college is cool, like going to a really selective boarding school. I couldn't be happier with JHU. It is AWESOME.

First Day of College...smh

So first day of college big... whoop!!!!!!!!! Today was good, class wise, my teacher seem OK, i have decent teachers, everything seems perfect, good I like it......

BUT I GOTTA GET BOOKS..........
So a few weeks ago I went online and they have this thing called book vouchers, but it said for returning students only, so i figured it must be for ppl who don't have FA, so as school come closer all i hear if book vouchers book vouchers, so I check it out and book vouchers are basically for everyone! they hive you a 500 dollar limit and your shit better no be more than that or you coming up out of pocket. So you go online they say 24/48 hours... OK I can be patient, and wait a day or two.......

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



So I gets to FA, just to ask some FAQ, and come to find out i have like i believe to be exact 16431.00 of FA and none of its been processed!


MIND YOU I DID ALL THIS FA BULLSHIT BEFORE I EVEN GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL SO WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!?????????????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???


So I'm like uber pissed because they fucking with my money!!!! then my philosophy teacher gave like 53 pages to read by like Thursday!!!!

So back to the FA I went to ask the questions about the book voucher, I went online, filled it the online says 24/48 hours, but the bitch in the office says 3-4 business days! I'm like lady!!! I need my books and shes like well we get 100's a day and we need to process them! so now I'm EXTRA PISSED! they are so fucking unorganized its ridiculous. i was even supposed to get FWS but since no one has seem to look at my monies.... I might not can't do it cuz bitches sleeping on my shit! so I'm just really mad and really pissed and need some kinda release! So I'm gonna just go indulge myself in some ice cream and watch a movie!

DAM THIS PLACE IS SHIT

This place is shit. Not to Mention that i feel so home sick. Now i don't have my computer yet but my roommate is cool enough to let me use his. So i miss Mia Melaine my "parents?" idk and all my crazy friends. want t come home so bad but whatev. Now don't get me wrong i want to go to college but this one just ain't for me. If only i could redo my senior year i would apple to Morgan and Coppin cuz this place don't have nothing i want to do. And the only reason i came here is because i thought that they had pre vet course but i cam here jut ti find that they don't. WOW!! So im pretty much fuck without permission.lol. SO NEXT SEMESTER


SO LONG EASTERN SHORE, HELLO MORGAN

"Aww come on! WHERE IS ALL THE NAKEDNESS?!"

So, I have about 3 days of things I need to cover but trust me, it's pretty interesting.

So okay, I would have to say that this piece of information I'm about to share with you is the 2nd least exciting thing that happened to me in the past 3 days but it excited the hell out of me when it first happened. So, in my first blog "Opening Marathon: WE WANT FRESHMAN!!", I mentioned how I danced with "some straight hot guy". But seeing as though I was completely intoxicated (not drunk), I still couldn't remember what he said his name was. So I figured it would kill me until I would see him again (because people in the drama department ALWAYS hang out with each other). Well, I was sitting eating lunch with Josh, Milly and Marcelo (yes, you will hear a lot of them) and so, we were geeking (laughing) the entire time and this group of drama people walk past, obviously to throw their trays away and so my friend Milly is standing up talking to us and so this guy says. "HEY! Whassup?"

So we're all staring at this guy like: "Whaat?" So Milly goes: "Hey?" and he says, as politely as he can, "Oh, I wasn't talking to you but 'Hi' to you too". So we laugh, it's hysterical. But then he looks at me and goes. "Hey, we danced at Marathon." And then...IT HIT ME! The inside of my body was going: YESSSSSS!! YESSSSSS! You son-of-a-bitch! You found this guy! So I'm like "Hi" and he shakes my hand and says "I'm Carlos".

PERFECT....THIS NEGRO IS HISPANIC! EVEN BETTER! (I couldn't tell in the dark or with all The noise but he does have sexy curly black hair and has the accent. *Melts*)

So I introduced myself and he says "You're a great dancer, mami" (AHHH HE SAID MAMI, lol. That's also what my body said). So Milly ruins my mood and says "She probably doesn't remember. She was drunk." So I had to make a correction and I said "No I wasnt. I remember. He had on a black shirt and a black hat (I remember that cuz he placed it on my head while we were dancing...why does he just reek of sexyness).

And that absolutely made my day because I was thinking about his name ALLLLLLLLL week.

Okay, so anyway. There was 2 Marathons since Thursday. One on Thursday, one on Saturday. No one went to the one on Thursday but everyone went to the one on Saturday because it was Spring Break themed. I was mad. I wanted to go sooo bad but I didn't have a way there or back. I had on my bikini and everything and CARLOS WAS PROBABLY THERE. DAMNIT!

Oh well, there's always next week.

Friday, all the drama people went to Pheobes (A restaurant and bar that used to be a brothel), like they do every friday. I need a fake ID or a 21 and over guy willing to buy me a drink, since my BIG didn't want to.

But all of these things led up to my worse night ever yesterday: I WENT TO A FRAT PARTY! You're probably thinking "Worse night ever? Why! You went to a friggin FRAT PARTY!" WRONG! I went to a friggin house full of white people.......dancing.....and throwing beer. That's not a party. That's a monkey house. I left after 10 minutes. (Besides, we spent about 30 minutes trying to find a legit party on frat row anyway). Plus to make it worse, I went with two guys on my floor and my roommate. My roommate's cool but I'm not cool with ANYONE on my floor and I'm pretty sure they didn't want me there just as much as I didn't want to be there. So when we got to the party, they danced, and I dipped and went elsewhere until 2:00 am (that location is disclosed). They said they were looking for me but my excuse was that I left the party at 1 and tried to find them but I didn't...so I walked home...by myself...in the dark.

WORST NIGHT EVERR!

I swear, I live on the worse residence all floor EVER!!!

I think I'll just stick to drama parties. No one gets Naked at Frat parties, anyway. .





.......I like the naked.


Oh btw... can someone please tell me why I keep having dreams that I have babies?! Like the other night I had a dream that I had a child, but I couldn't see it until a week later and when my mother brought it home, it was no bigger than my thumb and it was clear........ewww!

Then I dropped it and it died (from cracking it's neck) and then came back to life. WTF!