Epiphany

This was written while I was under severe emotional stress, I'm over this situation now and feel like ppl show just disregard this post






So I'm trying to go to sleep and I can't I feel like I have a lot of thought going on in my head and I cant really talk to troy about them cuz I dont kno how he'll take it. Like I dont kno if its my pregnancy emotions or what it is but I feel like me and him aren't even on the same page ne more. Like i dont even kno and it makes me so upset cuz I feel like we never really had problems like this before so I dont even kno if it just me or what. Like I love him, but I don't kno if I'm in love with him. Like over the pass few days he's changed a lot. like his whole attitude is different. and I dont like it. Like I feel like he doesnt wanna b around me ne more like he's getting cold feet about the baby. And it doesnt help that he shared with me that he feels like he wasted his youth he doesnt get to do the things other ppl our age get to do... so I'm like what? like honestly that hurt my feelings cuz i can forsee him just trying to do a whole lot of reckless things now before the baby gets here. Like sometimes i wanna break but then I dont like I dont even kno and Im fighting myself cuz i dont kno if its me or my emotions or what and its just killin me on the inside cuz i just dont kno what it is. like I dont kno where to turn ne more cuz feel like no one know what i feel like or whats going on with me like i feel sooooooo alone. its keeping me up at night cuz its always on my mind and him acting strange isnt helping ne...

I called this blog epiphany cuz I've listening to chrisette michele song epiphany and I feel like that. Like i feel like im over being his girlfriend. but i feel like me breaking up with him would just b dumb like he does so much things for me financially and transportation wise, but on the other hand i feel like we're not on the same page ne more and im not exactly sure how I wanna handle it like I dont kno where to talk to him or just let it work its course or what? like i feel like that i put up with a lot and he doesnt do the same for me. like im no longer sure what to do and i feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. Like im so depressed and I'm tired of feeling this way. Im just tired of holding back my emotions like I feel like maybe just maybe if i stop censoring myself i'll feel better.