Guidance Please

I need to give the world insight into my mind. Right now, I’m in a state of confusion. School wise, life wise, everything. This princess is lost and scared and at a turning point.

First, school wise. Notre Dame is bs. Honestly, like I rarely went to my gen ed classes and still have a 3.25 GPA and did great in all my classes. That means that my teachers ain’t grade shit and didn’t take attendance. I think I’m too smart for that school and may need to transfer. I know my degree can take me places but as time goes on, I rarely want to go. I would rather spend my time working or sleeping or just hanging out. I know that sounds bad but I do not like that school. And then apparently I owe them $1500 for last semester. Where am I suppose to pull that from? How bout they give me back the scholarship they took away cause I made too much money. The only reason I work every fucking weekend and all summer is to pay their high ass tuition! But those bitches get mad when I wanna transfer to Morgan! At least I know they would give me serious money! Lol

This brings me to my second point, Money. Everyone needs it and I wish I had it. I owe about $7000 in credit card bills. And it’s because I used them to pay my high ass tuition and pay for those expensive ass books. And to put gas in my car, of course. Now I’m paying them down as fast as I can but idk what I’m going to do this spring. I ain’t got and Amex ain’t giving me anymore. In addition to that, my mom ain’t got it and if she do, she ain’t giving. Notre Dame will only let me file as a dependent and they insist that I ask my provider to cosign my parent plus loan but she ain’t having that. So now what?? They advise a baby. Excuse me? The answer to my money problems is a child? Apparently, the government would love it. With a child, I can file independently, get a tax credit, get food stamps and many more!! (Ain’t it ironic that a catholic school would advise a single 19 year old to become pregnant?)

Third, my damn mother! I love her to death but she is losing her mind. She is forgetful and in pain all the time. Plus she refused to go to the doctor. Like she forgets when I tell her things and when I give her money and its to the point where I have her signing receipts. I’m happy that she wants to be independent but its getting too much for her and I am worried. I love my mommy and she’s all I have and I have no idea what I would do if I was left to take care of bad ass dennis all by myself! Ugh! So I need to handle her and get her an appointment when I make mines!!

Finally, I don’t know what to do with my life NOW! Like I want to make more money and be with this boy I’m dating. However, making the amount of cash I want either involved stripping or drugs. With stripping, I’m putting my life at danger and I don’t want to do that. However, drugs involve spending long hours with Mr. G and I want to avoid him! UGH!!! Why is life so damn complicated! I wish an angel would come down and swoop me up in the clouds and never let me down!

ConfusedAsHell

Sanda Out