OMG AFTER ALL I SAID THATS ALL YOU HEAR???

ok after all i said she only wants to hear the bad part. So she finds something i must have signed up for (and i still dont remember when this happened) but what ever. So she said i lied to her.I dont think i did. I told her no i dont think of having sex with other people and no i dont. I mean she has my virginity and she is the only one i will ever have sex with. No i would be lie if i said i never thought about whats the difference. And even then i feel really bad about it. So i told dezeray to get her take on it and shes like oh it normal it happens all the time you should tell her so yall can find a solution. and i say ,no cuz in think all that is still cheating even if it is an agreement i feel as though im hers and she is mine so i'll just deal with it. So tonight she thinks im cheating on her online? WOW i would never that disrespectful to me and her. so i sent her this text to try and she how i dont want anybody online so i send her this message.


This reminds me when i told dezeray about how i feel so bad cuz sometimes i wish i had had sex with more ppl and she told me to just tell you cuz its common but i feel thats cheating so i thought to myself i have everything i could ever want in you and you do anything for me and i thought to myself i should feel really bad cuz you do anything i ask you to and me feeling this way is just being greedy. And i tell you all this to show you that i have everything i could want in life right now and if the world do end in 2012 i want to be right there beside you and melanie to spend our last moments together cuz i do love yall and i love her as if she was my own daughter.


this is exactly what i said i pretty much poured my heart out and said i want to be with you and you daughter and hopefully our children til the day i die because i love you so much. but all you can think of is the beginning of the message when i used to think about how would it feel with someone else but thats in the past i dont care about that anymore. i want to be yours and only yours but you cant look past that and now you wont trust me like before and i didnt do nothing. i dont even talk to other girls down here with the exception or my lab partner.

But if you dont want to trust me there is nothing i can do. but just ask dez about that convo so she can tell you i was completely against every idea of fucking someone else.