Don't let me fall

"They say what goes up must come down but don't let me fall" B.O.B

That's how I feel right now. I feel like I'm at a high right now. I'm working, gonna move soon, and everything seems to be working in my favor, but I just don't want to come off of this high and to fall flat on my ass. You can always tell how I'm feeling based on the song I listen. Lately my playlist has been all over because I feel all over and I feel like my brain is being spread thin. That's it for now I just wanted to get that out. miachennel

In the meantime

It's been awhile since I last reported my life to you. So much has happened and I don't know where to begin. So I think I'll just type and see where it takes me.

Soo for starters... WE'RE MOVING!! I kno, I kno *clap, clap* We will move in on Apr 1. I'm excited, but at the same time I'm stressed. I feel like I'm busting my ass and I troy not doing anything. Like I understand I'm making more money cuz I do work 2 jobs, 7 days a week. BUT I brought everything, and that's not bothering me, what is bothering is that I'm doing all the packing and shit too, like he hasn't washed any clothes, he hasn't cleaned up the room yet. I feel like since he's off 2-3 says a week, the LEAST he can do is fucking clean up! or wash clothes SOMETHING you know just as well as me when we are moving and and you have done nothing! Like he doesn't do anything in intuitive. Like he's so fucking lazy and it's killing me. It's killing my mind like my brain is wrecking cuz I don't wanna wait until the last min to be packing in moving shit I want to be done, I want to move and I feel like he's a big as log in my way of trying to get shit done... better yet I'll call him dead weight. like it's soooo annoying ugh.....

I'm frustrated like sexually and I will admit that it maybe a phase but for the time being it's killing me! I had sex the other night and it had sooo much potential to be AMAZING... but it ended in a flop. I still haven't recovered from that. I wanna have sex and I want it to be good but I'm afraid to put myself out there. And when I mention it to troy he just says ok well don't worry about it and rolls over. like ugh... DO SOMETHING!!!

I started watching tv and got lost in my thought sooo I blog later.


miachennel

Filling In Some Blanks

So I haven't blogged in a while. There's no real reason why actually. I just been busy with school and focusing on other stuff. Plus I don't have anyone extra special in my life right now so there's definately less drama to deal with and blog about it. As a recap, I'm still in school. I'm still a psych and spanish double major. I still live with my mom. I'm still driving the same car. You see where I'm going with this! I'm still just me. Same person I always have been and same person I always will be plus or minus a few friends and boyfriends.My best friend is pregnant with my first god child so I'm excited! I mean I was excited when Mia was pregnant with Celab but this is different. Its like I'm having a baby of my own cause she involves me in every process as I'm sure Mia did with Dezeray when she had Melanie. Like I was the first person she told and she texts me when she's scared or nervous or just needs someone to hear her out and of course I'm always going to understand and never judge her! She's always been the more mature out of us two but people have always swore she messed up here and there. I think she's perfect just the way she is and everyone can go fuck themselves. (including those who are talking about her right now!). The only sad part is that she is due while I'm in Spain. I secretly wished that I would get denied from my program so that I would be here with her and it sucks that I'm going to miss it. But I am excited to be leaving! I always wanted to leave Baltimore for an extended period of time and this is my chance. I always kinda regretted not going to University of Tampa for college and always had a what if moment. I mean I see Jasmine in New York and she loves it but she's also more independent than me. I mean I can't be without my mom for a whole day let along a semester. Maybe I'll convince her to fly there in October and then she can just stay til Decemember with her god sister! I feel handicapped in a way. Like all my friends have these "strained" relationships with their parents and/or siblings and all I have is my mom. My brother started working at the zoo and I never realized how much I really care about him until I thought I had let him down by not picking him up. Like I was crying and everything. Well I'm tired of writing lol.
TtYl
SandraOut

Stupid Chemistry

So after that whole situation with Nikea over the summer, I stopped dealing with Gregory totally. Like I realized that he was an asshole in all forms of the word and that he did NOT care about me or my feelings and furthermore he damn sure didn’t respect me which is worse. So I stopped answering his calls, blocked his number from my cell phone and told everyone that I did NOT want them relaying messages back and forth between us. So last night, he texted me….I knew I shouldn’t have replied but I was so curious to know what the hell he wanted! So I replied and he tried to act like shit was all cool and I just been ducking him out! I told him that the shit with Nikea that night was unacceptable and that’s why I ain’t want to deal with him no more and he apologized.-_-. (It goes without saying that I was thinking whatever in my head!) But then he proceeds to tell me that he is salty because I give his brother my number one night! His brother ain’t even call me so its whatever son! He is also salty because I told him I was with Quentin and couldn’t deal with him anymore but I gave out my number! (1) you have no claims to me! Don’t worry about who has my number (2) your goal was to break me and Quentin up which was why you wanted to deal with me in the first place! (3) GET THAT BULLSHIT OUT OF HERE! I mean I understand how his feelings were hurt but he’s played so many games with me that I can’t trust him and I damn sure can’t be friends with him again! It’s just some things that ain’t supposed to be together! He and I are like baking soda and vinegar. We do our own thing separate, get together and blow up and then settle back down! I’m tired of this cycle! I know I love him but love can only do so much but hopefully he’s realized that you can’t play all your life and expect shit to work out.

IMissHimButIRefuseToGoBack
SandraOut