Fork In The Road

So lately I've been so confused about what I'm doing with my life, were I'm going to be in a year, who am I? I know everyone has this point in there life were they try to define themselves but I always had a definition. I am Lisandra. I am smart, sexy and sassy. I am outspoken and a leader. I am friendly and approachable. I cuss alot. I don't care what you think. I still am these things but I no longer know what I want to do. I had my heart set on being a psychologist and making $$$. Then it slowly became I wanna be a social worker. Now I want to be a business woman. Also, I used to love psychology! Like it was my life and my soul. But after this semester, I hate it. Notre Dame is preparing me for research and I don't want to do that. I don't want to play with rats all day. I don't want to run correlation students and factor analysis! I don't want to write papers and have them published. I don't want any of it! I want to crunch numbers and boss people around. I want to have people depend on me! I want to manage something and know that my hard work made this team work. I want to study business.

I feel like I'm wasting money at Notre Dame working towards a degree that I'm not going to use. I rather just be a spanish major and graduate with honors in spanish. I'm just so confused right now. I need to get that out there. I'm not happy with school anymore. I'm happy when I'm at home with my baby or with my friends or at work. I used to be excited to come to class but now I dread it. I hate it so much it makes my tummy hurt everytime I have a class. I can't wait for next week to be over and for my summer to start. Maybe I'll transfer. Maybe I'll withdraw totally. Who knows? All I know is the definition of Lisandra needs to be change. I wish webster could define me.

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