Umm Yea....

So no one has bloggged in like 2 months and I was the last one to blog but I don't care. When its something on my mind that needs to be let out, I need to share with the world. So my birthday was exactly one week ago and I am now 20!! I don't really feel any different and I've been sick all week so no big hoopla. lol I didn't really do anything but hang out with my bestie Niks and drink hypnotic (btw bout to be my new nuvo!) We went to syracuse the weekend before and it was cool. I acted like a bratty bitch the second night but I think it was cause I was mad going into the trip and alcohol induces everything lol...so me and quentin broke up, thats all there is to it.....anyway once again not whats on my mind!!!!

So, the love of my life is no longer my friend. Yea, I'm talking about Dez. She was my other half, my rock, the other pea in my pod, the ying to my yang. It sucks not having her around or texting her or having random times on facebook. I miss her slow moments and her witty comments and her inate ablity to cheer me up even when I was slowly dying. Most of all, I miss just seeing her and her hugging me for no reason at all but just because I was there. Ugh, but what totally sucks is that she didn't even give me a reason. Matter of fact, if it wasn't for facebook I would have never known. Ain't that shitty? Like she said she was hurt but that was it? Hurt by what?? And I've been hurting all summer so now what? Everybody keeps saying you know how she is and blah blah blah but so what?? She also knows how I am and I'm just tired of it. Part of me wants to delete her out of my life the way she did me but I can't. Like early I was looking of facebook and she is in 90% of my pictures! She has been here through sick and health, for richer or poor! Like I remember when I had swine flu and she talked to me everyday when I ws in confindment! Or when I got sick after city-poly and she nursed me back to health! Or when we studied at Notre Dame and nothing was accomplished but it was cool cause we were together. Ugh, its just fustrating more then anything else. Idk what to do or if I should even care anymore. I'm tired of crying over an issue that is out of my control. Bronwyn Polson said "Whoever said friendship is easy has never had a true friend." Hope this is true about us.

NotWastingTears

Sandra Out