Okay so this is gonna be a really short and random rant that i just have to get out of there. Okay like my new roommate Mike is really cool and he has a couple friends that come around but they are still like so fucking idiotically funny. like they are right now as i type having a conversation about weed and how awesome it is. Okay that is not such a dumb convo but then they had to add the fact that the reason that weed is illegal is because the USA doesnt want the weed smokers to be able to "out think" the politicians and take over the U.S. and im like really that is just a very interesting take on it (okay that was sarcasm). And they are still sitting here talking this shit and they were like yeah i heard that from this Hippie guy. Now i am for decriminalized weed cause i think it being illegal is pointless, but apparently according to them the US makes more money off it being illegal than they ever would if it were legal (?) i really dont understand where they get it from. So im sitting here now wondering like maybe weed is bad for u and maybe it does kill brain cell cause these guys are def. missing something they make no sense. idk
My letter to my Brother
Since I've been pregnant I've been having a hard time trying to tell my brother so i wrote a letter and here it goes.
Dear Myron,
Only once before have I ever felt afraid to tell you something, and that was when I was pregnant with Melanie, and now I am writing this letter to tell you that I’m pregnant again. I know that your probably upset and I completely understand. But there a few things I wanna get off my chest. For starters this is my responsibility, mines not yours not mommy’s, but mines. You don’t have to do anything for this baby the same as you had to do nothing for Melanie. Yes I will finish school, yes I will graduate I will do everything I attended to do with or without your support. Because honestly at the end of the day this baby will still be your family. You have no idea how afraid I was to tell you this because you are judgmental and will look down on me for as long as you live and I know it. And honestly I’m tired of it. I’m tired of feeling so under pressure of you. I’m tired of trying to live up to something for you. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I’m a strong believer in that. And I’m not dumb or stupid for getting pregnant and you are no God to look down on me, and honestly I rather you never speak to me again if you don’t have anything positive to say. I know you maybe hurt by this and maybe upset, but this is nothing but a bump and my life that I will over come. I have a very strong support system that you can either be apart of or not. I always wanted to I guess impress you and make you happy but over the years I realized that I need to live my life not live my life for you I am in control of my life and that’s that. And I believe that I can still do whatever I wanna do as long as I put my mind to it. Because I realize I didn’t invent this plenty of people have had kids young and turned out fine and I am no different. So if you wanna not speak to me, fine, and you wanna act different towards troy fine but I will tell you right now don’t you dare blame mommy because troy has been here don’t you dare yell at me because I may not be doing what you may think is right but this is my life and I gotta live it not you! Everything will be alright I guarantee that. So, do what you wanna do, feel how you wanna feel, but at the end of the day I am who I am and that Mia.
Love,
Mia
i had a movie for a dream last night. i was an FBI agent!
so last night, Friday night, i went to a party and got drunk as usual. But when i crashed it gave me the BEST dream i had in probably YEARS! this could help me with my writers block! so here's the dream:
so i was just about to go home and visit my brothers and my grandmother and then a crash thunderstorm came out of no where. i was looking at it out the window and then all of a sudden i saw a blimp crash into the city and i was like OH NO! it was so tragic looking. then next thing you need i was in the building downtown at a micxer (a light party where its just refreshments and mingling) where the ballooon had crashed nearby, it had crashed into the harbor. then i saw something even more tragic. they were trying to rescue the ppl in the blimp and i saw the people coming up on to land, they were going into some type of egg chamber that was supposed to save them. but we kept seeing them not making it in the egg chamber and choosing to jump into the water. it was like they were all possessed. so i was like "they must have seen something tragic. what could they have seen that would make them all commit suicide" and then an FBI agent who was there undercover at the mixer with me (cause apparently i was a FBI agent) was like. "no. it must be ... fish poisoning". and then i realized it and i explained the rest "the radioactive material in the blimp collided with the water ... the impact must have caused this weird phenomenon ... it eats your brain and causes you to believe you are a fish and belong in the water ... and then you die from drowning" and sure enough everyone was in the water flapping like fishes and we saw [people sinkining and the coast guard was trying to help people into the egg chamber but people just kept breaking free and going into the water and the next thing you know i saw them struggling with AMANDA! she was on the blimp! then i was like "i have to do something!" and rushed outside. the other FBI agent that was with me came too and so did kerri and lacroyah out of the blue but they were just regular people. me and the FBI agent knew we werent supposed to blow our cover cause the coast guard didnt call us but we were there anywhere. and then i got to the edge and remembered i couldnt swim. so i was NOT jumping in. i asked my partner to and he said, "no, you cant swim against a person with fish poisoning. she'll kill you both" and then i knew it was only one thing to do. lacroyah was trying to swim out towards amanda but i had no choice but to levitate amanda. so i used my secret powers and levitated her out of the water and put her on dry land. "keep her out of the water!" yelled the coast guard, as amanda ran back to the water. i levitated her in mid air suspensionn so she couldnt move. all the while a heavy thunderstorm continuing around us. and then she came back to her senses and we were joking around about the whole situation and i kept levitating her to be silly.
Okay here is my first blog since ive back in hawaii
okay so this is gonna be a kinda short one cause im tired and i wanna go to bed but heres the break down:
- So far i really like the classes that i have (although i am considering dropping my history class to take a theatre one). like all of profs are so cool and chill that its amazing. but i'll talk more bout them later
- I got my tuition refund already so not only wont my rent be late im early (i paid up 3 months in advance) i feel like im being responsible
- I now get paid $10/hour for workstudy so im really excited about that cause i can work less hours and still get paid pretty okay.
- i got all my books and they only cost me $300 (which is half of what last semester cost)
- i get along with my new roommate (although his laugh really gets on my nerves)
so this was just a quick break down of whats been going on ima elab. on these later when im not falling asleep at the keys. oh if there are any typos its cause im tired
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
y hasn't ne one been here!!!!!!!!!!!!! I refuse to express any of my thoughts (besides this one) in this blog with out someone else posting a blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
state of suspension
Just once I'd like to NOT be in a state of suspension. Every thing in my life is always this way all the time. The story of my life is wavering some where. .... I'd like to feel grounded. Just once.
Maybe I was destined to a fate of being suspended in incertainty.